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Thursday, September 25, 2008

Summer of 69

Yesterday i went on life tilt. My dad mentioned a few minor "quality issues" in my businesses that throw me off the hook so bad that i went on a major cussing and screaming tilt. It was seriously funny. Well it does look scarry when i do it, but looking back at myself i am absolutely hopeless those times. I just can't help myself and beat up furniture and sometimes the wall. Should i go to the psychiatrist? Well i don't know, sure it is not very healthy for my brain and my heart but i always feel so relieved after it. And so i went to play poker as i usually go every wednesday or close to every wednesday to Bratislava where we play some high stakes poker. High stakes i mean 1650 dollar Sit N Goes and 5-10 EUR blind NL Holdem with minimum buyin 1000 EUR. So when i go live games i might say i went up in limit quite bad. Anyways yesterday i won the SNG and won some at the cash game which made me a happy person. Not that i am not anyways, but when i win at poker and so much as i did yesterday, i just feel obviously high for at least a whole day after that. We got home today at 9.00 in the morning, felt very sick from being tired and having to drive home in the early morning rush hour. I was sick from it and promised i will never prolong my sessions to so long. Well it was my poker buddy Kojak who is obviously having his life tilt in both poker and sportsbook betting... So he is on a major fall and a major rollercoaster ride ahead of himself. If he can cope with the psychological pitfalls of gambling he should be fine. Anyways, so because of him I was waiting about an hour or more so this morning plus that we had to drive in morning rush hour that added an extra hour to our drive home. Was really really sickening... So i got home about 9AM and went immediately to bed and fainted myself into the bed and was probabily out and sleeping by 9.01 AM :))

Anyways, i made myself wake up at 14.00 so i would be able to enjoy the glory of the previous night today a bit. And so i did. I went to work a bit... helped a bit in the restaurant... looked around in work... saw my family working like a crowd of bees and had a great Thursday afternoon Brunch. So when i left the place i had really not much to do and since i was pretty tired and almost everyone went home by now i decided I'm gonna hit the road and will clear my head from all the hype and all the glory. This is one of the many hobbies i like to do. It's pointless... it's fun... it's a waste... but i so much love to do it ever since i'm 18 years old. Since i enjoy it so much i guess it's not so pointless is it? So i went on to hit the roads and hooked up my Ipod Mini to my car where i store some of my favorite songs and just drove and drove into the sunset... It was so great, sometimes i was just pushing my car to the limits sometime i pushed my voice there :))) I clear my head out from all the mess that i receive in everyday life... so much that i got myself into this super sentimental feeling about my past. Well it was Bryan Adam's Summer of 69 after i just listened to an older song from Eros Ramazzotti... These two songs just got me into this state of mind where i could live a few minutes in my past daydreaming. By this time i got home and was just listening to these 2 songs repeatedly while sitting in the car. Daydreaming is awesome. I do it sometimes and it's so awesome it's really unbelievable. Do you day dream of your past ever? Do you wish you could go back in time to relive a moment that happened before to you? Do you wanna go back to enjoy your first trip with your buddies or girlfriend, to relive the first sexual moment , the first joint of pot or first time you got drunk a special occasion with your family? I do. I so really love my past that sometimes i would want to live in it forever. Time to time it seems to me that i can never turn back time again and i never gonna be as happy as i was when i was a teenager or my college years, but you know... when i think about it - leave my body on the ground and just let my soul crawl above all humanly and just look at myself from bird eye view i realize that at those times i lived those fantastic moments i was wishing for something more and i was wanting for something different, something crazily great... I lived those times with the same state of mind that i live my life today... it's just those special days, special moments that want me to go back there... i just haven't got myself thinking about it till now, but those special moments meant i was LIVING THE LIFE of a teenager/of a college person/and now i live a life after college.... I am pretty sure ten years from now i will look back at the days i live today and will be wanting to come back to relive the days of today. Sure it will be nice to come back and time travel a bit in our minds and just look back at 30 year old Vas and how he lived his life. Only i can make it happen that i remember these days 5 or 10 or 20 years later.

I may sound like i want to live in the past but that's not case. It's just it's great to go back and think about some great stuff that happened then. It happens to make me a small sensation feeling that lifts me up if in a bad mood. Anyways, i'm so random topic today it's unreal :) lol

So i will continue here with my randomness. :)))
I believe the key to success is to LIVE your life. That doesn't mean you should go crack yourself and get high every minute. No this means you should set yourself goals that you want to achieve set yourself shorter and longer term midterm achievements and yeah work on it to reach all this. And while doing and working on your goals cut some time off for your health your family and friends and your hobbies and all of a sudden you know you are living a life. Make special random trips, celebrate special days... just go out and hang around you like and 10 years from now you will see yourself doing all this stuff and great a life you lived back then. If you will not, i believe you did something wrong in the past or you just started to live your life right then and have no time to think about your past. But i recommend you to relax put on some song that cause you some sensation feeling and travel back your best days... Can you identify your Summer of 69?

I hope all of you who read my blogs have a few more than just one. I have a bunch of Summer of 69s.... And i believe i will have a lot more.

This post is a bit awkward, but hey... sometimes that's who i am.

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